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Chronic Daily Migraines . . .

Be GRATEFUL for all the colorful experiences that you get to have throughout your life. A rainbow of experience is beautiful when building your character. Life is good! Life is hard too! 

It's  hard to be honest with myself about the pain that I experience every day. 

Early this morning I sat up in bed, right next to my wonderful husband. Our fluffy white bed covers are lapped across our legs and feet. My pillows are supporting my back and cushioning my head away from the hard wooden headboard. It was a rough night last night; almost a sleepless night night for me. My head pain was so excruciating through the dark night that even sleep, could not turn off the world around me and give any relief.

    Here I am sitting in my most comfy space, but my head is drowning in pain. My husband and I are looking again for solutions and root causes for this terrible pain. First, I try and put into words how this pain is effecting my life. My husband starts journaling this long road of headaches. As I am talking, he starts to write about when this all started. I start talking about the things we have tried to help reduce the pain. We are discussing all the many things that haven't worked. And now we are asking new questions in hope that we can move forward with a new plan.  This conversation starts to be emotionally challenging and painful for me. There seems to be no solution. 

The medical journaling we did is important for taking steps forward. The journaling motivates me to write a little more about my feelings and a little less about the medical details.

I have been in constant head pain for a long 2 and a half years.  And I am still searching for a cure to my daily headaches, and searching for the root cause. 

It's an exhausting exercise that is teaching me about my level of pain tolerance. I can tolerate a pretty high level of pain, but daily never-ending head pain has taken it's toll on me and my happiness.

This experience is also teaching me about my patients, and or the lack thereof. 

I would consider myself quite a patient person, but my chronic head pain has taught me something new. My patients has it's limits. My patients with my little loved ones is quite the task when noise, chaos, and light sensitivity are major triggers to my head pain. I try and try each day with all my heart to give all my love and all the patients I have left to my little children, because this is what is most precious to me and this is what matters most to me. But the end of the day I am worn out. 

And at the end of the day my husband comes home to help and support me. He often encourages me and helps me feel like "MOM the BOMB".  He is sad to see me suffer and he is more supportive of me than I am to myself. Lots of times I am obviously in a lot of pain and out of all my patients, but he just loves me anyway! We love and enjoy life together, but I'm sure this takes quite the toll on him too, whether he expresses it or not. Honestly though, we have a lot of fun together as a family, we love out door adventures, and we are happy. 

 I feel very tired of this pain, and I am tired of waiting for this to go away. I go through phases when I don't want to speak of my pain anymore, I don't want to give my headaches even one more second of my time or thoughts. But just ignoring the problem is not going to help. 

I recently read some very encouraging words 

"If you are not satisfied with the answers you get or things do not improve, keep searching. Keep asking. Keep listening. Keep going until you get answers. You are the only one who can truly look after you. And your people need you to be here." - by Rachel Macy Strafford the author of "Only Love Today" - Love it!

This statement encourages me to find help and find a solution because this is a beautiful life, and already 2 and a half years of Chronic Daily Headaches is way to long. I am searching for a pain free answer, because I think there is a solution out there. But I will continue to enjoy the gifts of every day! Botox will you work?